Lost in paradise.
Fucking hello. Can you hear me?
This is getting ridiculous. You're being a drama queen and I'm pissed cause I can't vocalise even half of what I'm feeling to your face without burning all the fucking bridges forever.
I'm just done pretending. You wanna play the silent game - suit yourself. I'm done being your friend. Your only fucking friend you could talk to everyday. Cause guess what? I have needs and feelings too. Surprise! And unlike you I actually go out every so often so everyone can take a break from me. The problem is I can't take a break from everybody cause I just don't have the space for that! Someone is always fucking nearby.
I don't need your smothering advice. I don't need your opinion on my way of doing anything. I kinda need your presence occasionally. Not every fucking minute.
Every time this happens it opens up a boiling pot in me with every little thing she annoys me with. And the worst part is - it's not gonna change till we move the fuck away from each other to call every other day for some small talk! It's never gonna be fine while we're in the same space together and there's no foreseeable way I could get my space till either grans die or my son grows up.
I thought I could bring all the bubbling inside here so it would stop swirling in my head. But there're so many things I wanna say at the same time I can't concentrate on even one to start unravelling. I realize that's her way of pushing me to shame of being "the bad daughter" so that I'd come and apologize for things that are not even my fault. Cause guess what? She's always right. She never apologizes for being a manipulative bitch. I'm the one who always has to be the "I'm sorry it was wrong of me to say all these things" girl. Well, tough. Not this time. I'm not afraid of the silent treatment, I'm a fucking master at it, too.
The funny thing is, the less she talks to me, the more I wanna spend time with my son. Maybe my social battery just had the resources for one and this whole shenanigan will be good for my parenting. Joke's on you, mom.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Well, I guess Amen to that. Being yourself and true to your feelings.
This is getting ridiculous. You're being a drama queen and I'm pissed cause I can't vocalise even half of what I'm feeling to your face without burning all the fucking bridges forever.
I'm just done pretending. You wanna play the silent game - suit yourself. I'm done being your friend. Your only fucking friend you could talk to everyday. Cause guess what? I have needs and feelings too. Surprise! And unlike you I actually go out every so often so everyone can take a break from me. The problem is I can't take a break from everybody cause I just don't have the space for that! Someone is always fucking nearby.
I don't need your smothering advice. I don't need your opinion on my way of doing anything. I kinda need your presence occasionally. Not every fucking minute.
Every time this happens it opens up a boiling pot in me with every little thing she annoys me with. And the worst part is - it's not gonna change till we move the fuck away from each other to call every other day for some small talk! It's never gonna be fine while we're in the same space together and there's no foreseeable way I could get my space till either grans die or my son grows up.
I thought I could bring all the bubbling inside here so it would stop swirling in my head. But there're so many things I wanna say at the same time I can't concentrate on even one to start unravelling. I realize that's her way of pushing me to shame of being "the bad daughter" so that I'd come and apologize for things that are not even my fault. Cause guess what? She's always right. She never apologizes for being a manipulative bitch. I'm the one who always has to be the "I'm sorry it was wrong of me to say all these things" girl. Well, tough. Not this time. I'm not afraid of the silent treatment, I'm a fucking master at it, too.
The funny thing is, the less she talks to me, the more I wanna spend time with my son. Maybe my social battery just had the resources for one and this whole shenanigan will be good for my parenting. Joke's on you, mom.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Well, I guess Amen to that. Being yourself and true to your feelings.