I need a fresh start. I suffocate in a place I am now. The only people that seem to still care about me are my mom and my son. Like I said before, it's more than most people have. But it's still not enough for me. Everyone has friends, hobbies, places they like to go to, people they like to be with, and I don't know what I am anymore and what the hell I need. No bloody idea.

I want to be the person I always dreamt of becoming - loving and caring mother, daughter and girlfriend, good friend you can rely on, a nice person to be around. But here I am, running away from everyone, because I can't bear staring them in the eyes.

Every time I start over I promise myself I won't do the same mistakes again. But it's like a circle - I always end up exactly where I started. And I always say to myself - not this time. This time I'm better, tougher, stronger, more clever and courageous. This will not happen to me ever again. I won't let it happen.